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jumping through the hoops
Lots to do 
23rd-Feb-2009 10:06 am
Check out Ruby's page for some pictures of our weekend.

I called CHOP this morning to let them know that I would in fact be coming early.  My Nurse wanted me to wait until after my ultrasound tomorrow and then decide.  I didn't want to risk the plane tickets getting even more expensive.  Chris and I are both pretty freaked out that there is any kind of concern and would rather have me there sooner.  If for nothing else than for piece of mind.  It's funny how much we are doing just for piece of mind.  So much of this is so Ruby can have the best chance possible, but a lot of it is so we don't have any regrets either.  Plus we've been dealing with Doctors and high stress medical situations for almost 3 years now.  I'm of the opinion it's always easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.  Whether it be checking off extra tests on my lab slips or demanding a follow-up before the Dr. says I need one.  One of things being infertile has taught me is that medical offices are there to serve me and sometimes you have fight with the stupid receptionist to get what you want. 

I'm feeling fine.  I'm tired.  I'm not too uncomfortable.  Of course I have been uncomfortable in one way or another since July 11 when the cycle started.   If it wasn't side effects from clomid it was morning sickness.  Now I just feel kinda big and stiff.  Not being able to swim has been surprisingly easy.  I think being worn out just from being pregnant makes it easier.  Swimming and running will be there in May, when I need them.

I'm also supposed to be taking it easy.  Which is easier said then done when you are preparing to leave on a 3-4 month trip and have a baby.  We managed to get plenty of things done along with seeing our friends this weekend.  I haven't gone to bed before midnight the past three nights.  Which is just crazy.  Luckily I get to sleep in.

I'm sure some of you are wondering about our dear Miles.  Given the new stress of leaving early.  Chris and I decided that he will deal with Miles.  This not the way I had hoped things would go.  I hate having to dump this responsibility on Chris.  I love our cat dearly, but right now it's taking all of my energy to focus on Ruby.  I need to stay calm and well rested for her.  I can't do much but I need to do everything I can to insure she stays in for a few more weeks.  We will most likely have to put him down this week.  Chris will most likely have to do this without me.  Which breaks my heart.  It's going to be so hard to leave Wednesday morning knowing that it will be the last time I see our kitty.

Things have to get easier at some point, right?  Things can't suck forever.  At least I hope they can't.  Something has to go our way at some point.


Comments 
23rd-Feb-2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
I'm so, so sorry about Miles. You all continue to be in my thoughts.
23rd-Feb-2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you are having to deal not only with the stress of changing plans and the health issues for Ruby but also to have to deal with and decide about a much loved pet who is ill. I can't imagine what that's like. Hugs to you and I hope your trip goes well.
23rd-Feb-2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
I'm so sorry about Miles. My heart goes out to you and Chris.

Things do have to get easier. They won't suck forever. I'm certain all of this suckiness is leading up to exactly what is should - bringing Ruby home to Austin, meeting her whole family, and thriving with two loving parents.

All our love,
Tami
24th-Feb-2009 03:49 am (UTC)
Anonymous
Holly - I am inspired every time I read one of your entries. You keep everything in perspective and even though things suck right now, it means the well-deserved happy times ahead will be that much more special. Everyday, I see my beautiful 8 year old son, and only rarely do I think about the difficulty of his early life. I hope it will be the same for you.

Amber
25th-Feb-2009 12:58 am (UTC) - Mer
Anonymous
I have been following your story for a short time now since reading about you on LFCA. I am so sorry about your cat, and the multiple curveballs life seems to be throwing at you.

I live outside Philadelphia and work in the city, and while I totally understand not accepting help from random strangers who comment on your blog (seriously, I get that), I would love to be of help if I can. My e-mail is mer43@hotmail.com. Either way, good luck, I will continue to follow your story and Ruby's and will be thinking good thoughts for all of you.
25th-Feb-2009 02:47 am (UTC)
Here from LFCA: Hoping that you have a safe trip and sorry to hear about your Cat. I'm sure things don't suck forever...hoping they start to look up for you soon.
25th-Feb-2009 03:24 am (UTC)
Anonymous
I am really sorry to hear about poor Miles. I know it is really difficult to lose a pet. Safe travels to you and Chris. I hope everything goes well in Philly.

Rachel
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