That's how I feel. I feel unimportant. I have one set of friends who have demanding jobs and another who left their demanding jobs to be Moms. I left my demanding job and I haven't succeeded in becoming a Mom to live children. I don't have a career anymore and I don't get to parent my children. I'm in this no man's land. I have no purpose and I hate it. Some of you are going tell me that I do have a purpose, and that trying again and going through this is enough of a purpose. I don't want my purpose to be to endure more pain. How fucking sadistic is that. Plus failure was never a part of my vocabulary until recently.

I guess what I'm saying is I want to feel important. I want to complain about a demanding job or the trails of potty training. Instead I get all excited when my fertility clinic gets a new website.

Just another sign of how lame I am, instead of packing for Dallas this afternoon guess what I did?
I packed for Spain. Then when I realized that I wanted to wear a pair of pants that I packed for the trip that we leave for in 6 WEEKS I had to debate whether or not to take it out of the suitcase. Don't worry the suitcase is in the closet where the cleaning ladies can't see it. I can only imagine what they would think about seeing the same packed suitcase for six weeks.