When I see a pregnant woman before I run and hide I always think, "Why are you smiling? Don't you know what can go wrong?". If they aren't smiling I think, "Why aren't you smiling, you should be grinning from ear to ear everyday". Then the third thing I think is, "Fuck, I just needed some pickles. Can't I even go to HEB without the reminder of what I don't have". In approximately 6 weeks I'll be back in the stirrup's. Then in 8 weeks, we'll be doing the IUI. I can do this all day, we all know the drill. Do I think that in 10.5 months I'll be holding a child that I gave birth too? Not a chance. Sorry no hope here. Really there is this empty hole where hope and optimism used to be. Actually it's not really an empty hole, it's been filled with sarcasm and pessimism, both which I already had an abundant supply of.

I'm going to take my hopelessness and run ten miles. It's funny how running was part of the decision to try to become parents. Now it's part of the recovery of not being able to become parents.

The brake is almost over. I feel like summer is ending and I know the next semester is gonna be a bitch. Kinda like the time, I tried to take organic II, thermo, diff eq, and p chem all at the same time. Didn't really happen.